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O_Js_Mother

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O_Js_Mother

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 October 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 152
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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O_Js_Mother's page activity

Visits<b>lauradale</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 6:28am<b>flores_daniel</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 11:28am

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Judgmental

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O_Js_Mother's favorite FMLs

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38354) - you deserved it (6740)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17367) - you deserved it (7226)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (237642)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12218) - you deserved it (221433)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

#14930837
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8427) - you deserved it (72178)

On 02/11/2011 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Zibby -

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (358469)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (216271)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14881) - you deserved it (100107)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84069) - you deserved it (223166)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40636) - you deserved it (141095)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (270439)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35936) - you deserved it (309797)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
688 comments

I agree, your life sucks (708906) - you deserved it (56126)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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