Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OMGITSAKITTY

Offline (yesterday at 10:55pm) | Search for a member

OMGITSAKITTY

0Liked!

OMGITSAKITTYOMGITSAKITTY
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 808
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About OMGITSAKITTY : Meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeoeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeoeowmeoeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow*hairball*meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeoeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeoeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeoeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow

OMGITSAKITTY's page activity

Visits<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:20pm

OMGITSAKITTY's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of OMGITSAKITTY's badges

OMGITSAKITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28257) - you deserved it (6068)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (3027)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17452) - you deserved it (51865)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32296) - you deserved it (7022)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML

#21359996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32340) - you deserved it (2678)

On 02/20/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by pissed - United States (Illinois)

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30931) - you deserved it (2924)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (1834)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18688) - you deserved it (35463)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

#21353290
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (17719)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30796) - you deserved it (2288)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32438) - you deserved it (7529)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (2272)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30138) - you deserved it (3324)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (3661)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: