Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OMGITSAKITTY

Offline (the 03/26/2015 at 3:56am) | Search for a member

OMGITSAKITTY

0Liked!

OMGITSAKITTYOMGITSAKITTY
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1018
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About OMGITSAKITTY : Meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeoeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeoeowmeoeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow*hairball*meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeoeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeoeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeoeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow

OMGITSAKITTY's page activity

Visits<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:20pm

OMGITSAKITTY's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of OMGITSAKITTY's badges

OMGITSAKITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27872) - you deserved it (4105)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24459) - you deserved it (2399)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML

#21377689
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26952) - you deserved it (2153)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:24am - health - by david99021 (man) - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

#21377510
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13257) - you deserved it (44277)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by copycat - United States (California)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML

#21376328
104 comments

Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

#21372194
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (5580)

On 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm - misc - by Blonde - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

#21371826
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (6344)

On 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by parkoursam - United States (Illinois)

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

#21370942
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28522) - you deserved it (6941)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

#21369958
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30787) - you deserved it (3844)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32509) - you deserved it (3025)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML

#21368562
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14299) - you deserved it (42512)

On 03/05/2015 at 9:32am - misc - by jlol - United States

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23382) - you deserved it (33027)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (6400)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29520) - you deserved it (3073)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: