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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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OMFGmylifesux1

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OMFGmylifesux1
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  • Number of visits : 222
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

#6053376 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (6874) - you deserved it (35485)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned there is a taste difference between grabbing a glass of milk that has been sitting on your night table for a week and the one you put on there 3 minutes before. FML

#6050287 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (3974) - you deserved it (37819)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by GlassJAwkidE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML

#6041227 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (27206) - you deserved it (1912)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:19pm - work - by uglyyyyy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (5207)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

#6035078 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (10968) - you deserved it (22125)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML

#6017805 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (5778) - you deserved it (17395)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML

#6007268 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (23488) - you deserved it (3384)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by ohhhgross (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm far-sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML

#6006091 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (29726) - you deserved it (3766)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:42pm - animals - by K.H (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (6510) - you deserved it (26201)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at AT&T getting my phone fixed. At one point, the salesman said 'you should see this'. It was a text message from some girl apologizing for sleeping with my boyfriend for the past four months, and telling me that they were moving him out of our apartment. FML

#5998375 (39)

I agree, your life sucks (24059) - you deserved it (1073)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:00pm - love - by LTJFP (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

#5993337 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (33579) - you deserved it (2398)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm - love - by Kin (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

#5991629 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (7195)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

#5991495 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (2646)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my cousin and I were out on the boardwalk. I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seeing eye dog. FML

#5981900 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (17920) - you deserved it (7078)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by RC (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (26055) - you deserved it (9895)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)