Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OMFGmylifesux1

Search for a member

OMFGmylifesux1

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1068
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

OMFGmylifesux1's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 11:00pm

OMFGmylifesux1's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

OMFGmylifesux1's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

#6053376
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9713) - you deserved it (50739)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned there is a taste difference between grabbing a glass of milk that has been sitting on your night table for a week and the one you put on there 3 minutes before. FML

#6050287
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6281) - you deserved it (56163)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by GlassJAwkidE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML

#6041227
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (2895)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:19pm - work - by uglyyyyy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33512) - you deserved it (7139)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

#6035078
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (31868)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML

#6017805
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9109) - you deserved it (26846)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML

#6007268
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (4955)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by ohhhgross (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm far-sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML

#6006091
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39953) - you deserved it (5521)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:42pm - animals - by K.H (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10302) - you deserved it (39429)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at ATandT getting my phone fixed. At one point, the salesman said 'you should see this'. It was a text message from some girl apologizing for sleeping with my boyfriend for the past four months, and telling me that they were moving him out of our apartment. FML

#5998375
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32093) - you deserved it (1790)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:00pm - love - by LTJFP (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

#5993337
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42046) - you deserved it (3381)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm - love - by Kin (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

#5991629
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37637) - you deserved it (9949)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

#5991495
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30998) - you deserved it (3656)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my cousin and I were out on the boardwalk. I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seeing eye dog. FML

#5981900
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26497) - you deserved it (9691)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by RC (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35075) - you deserved it (14023)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: