OMBitspie

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OMBitspie

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 502
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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OMBitspie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

OMBitspie's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

by unicorn / 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

by dawg3360 / 06/07/2009 at 2:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML

by theatreismylife / 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

by jason / 04/24/2009 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Love