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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Socialite
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Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26820) - you deserved it (6522)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41461) - you deserved it (12284)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16709) - you deserved it (36886)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (49263)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75279) - you deserved it (35503)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199557) - you deserved it (58874)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307664) - you deserved it (40965)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353534) - you deserved it (66674)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13994) - you deserved it (38917)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (3320)
On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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