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OCDC's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 7:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy
Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm / United States / Work
Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:36am / Reserved / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy
by nothingdoes / 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy
by luckygirl / 12/14/2009 at 4:05am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
by JC / 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML
by hanzastfu / 10/26/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (California) / Love