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OCDC's favorite FMLs
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
by Username / 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm / India / Kids
by SpLo0gIeR / 02/13/2012 at 10:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by Snurkles McGree / 12/29/2011 at 1:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by funnymanjoe / 09/14/2011 at 7:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
by moonstone15 / 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML
by Username / 07/08/2011 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room.… Today, I slept with my deputy manager. He slept with my insane jealous housemate months ago. I need… Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked…
- Today, my husband decided to sell my car, which is in excellent working condition. Why? He decided… Today, I was playing video games when my balls felt itchy. I had been sick for the past few days so… Today, I bought a non-refundable $200 plane ticket to Ohio to be with my girlfriend who moved there…