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Nymphetamatrix

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Nymphetamatrix
  • Town/Country : Funkytown, NARNIA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 719
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Nymphetamatrix : Party time seal for your party time needs.
Messages are welcome and so are party invites

p.s. I'm not sure if I should be proud of the badges I've recieved.

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Nymphetamatrix's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (4863)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (1862)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom got a new puppy and named her Olivia. Which would be fine, if that wasn't the name I had been planning to give my baby, who's due in 3 weeks. Thanks mom. FML

#19983667
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24489) - you deserved it (1966)

On 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm - kids - by madmomma - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (2701)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML

#19943603
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (2265)

On 07/16/2012 at 12:08am - work - by crazyautio - United States

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

#19936379
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10778) - you deserved it (25891)

On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30678) - you deserved it (3889)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

#19814133
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (2585)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by lisahb - United States (Michigan)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (29321)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

#19414574
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20883) - you deserved it (3078)

On 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

#19216079
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7842) - you deserved it (40199)

On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

#6927698
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5387) - you deserved it (65528)

On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

#6436100
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10291) - you deserved it (27950)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm - animals - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)



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