Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Nymphetamatrix

Online | Search for a member

Nymphetamatrix

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1263
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Nymphetamatrix : Party time seal for your party time needs.
Messages are welcome and so are party invites.

Nymphetamatrix's page activity

Visits<b>Sporkly</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:41pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:02am<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:30pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 8:13pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 8:12am<b>VorpikeII</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 8:10pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 12:35am<b>Crometer</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 1:17pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 6:03pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:12am<b>QQMorePlox</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:24am<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:26pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:09am<b>FailBear920</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:57pm<b>gc327072</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 7:20pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 5:52pm<b>abbeyXD</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 12:52am<b>keepcalmandbacon</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 1:03am

Nymphetamatrix's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Nymphetamatrix's badges

Nymphetamatrix's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

#20096394
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14859) - you deserved it (15123)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21898) - you deserved it (3540)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27225) - you deserved it (10860)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML

#20083123
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21480) - you deserved it (1598)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by IHateMyLife - United States (California)

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

#20078083
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28300) - you deserved it (1702)

On 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by he is going to hell (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

#20062299
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4448) - you deserved it (44785)

On 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm - misc - by scumbag i guess - United States (Texas)

Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML

#20055992
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15016) - you deserved it (4050)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by frustrated (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

#20055735
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5446) - you deserved it (28087)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

#20029819
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24464) - you deserved it (2077)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48049) - you deserved it (3417)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (6201)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

#20020707
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20646) - you deserved it (1531)

On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (6743)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45726) - you deserved it (2991)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

#20007077
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19271) - you deserved it (1586)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: