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Nymphetamatrix

Offline (the 07/17/2014 at 5:38am) | Search for a member

Nymphetamatrix

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1088
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Nymphetamatrix : Party time seal for your party time needs.
Messages are welcome and so are party invites.

p.s. I'm not sure if I should be proud of the badges I've recieved.

Nymphetamatrix's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:02am<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:30pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 8:13pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 8:12am<b>VorpikeII</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 8:10pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 12:35am<b>Crometer</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 1:17pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 6:03pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:12am<b>QQMorePlox</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:24am<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:26pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:09am<b>FailBear920</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:57pm<b>gc327072</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 7:20pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 5:52pm<b>abbeyXD</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 12:52am<b>keepcalmandbacon</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 1:03am<b>Mimsz</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:24am

Nymphetamatrix's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Nymphetamatrix's badges

Nymphetamatrix's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

#20447311
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (91521)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32422) - you deserved it (9103)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

#20403258
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35074) - you deserved it (13787)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34170) - you deserved it (10893)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13282) - you deserved it (31436)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34360) - you deserved it (4285)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

#20168405
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37961) - you deserved it (5655)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML

#20132703
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15853) - you deserved it (2025)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by not even a sexy bushfire - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30816) - you deserved it (18097)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27376) - you deserved it (4720)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22277) - you deserved it (4653)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36542) - you deserved it (12240)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

#20096394
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14826) - you deserved it (15078)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)



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