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Nymphetamatrix

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Nymphetamatrix

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1609
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Nymphetamatrix : Party time seal for your party time needs.
Messages are welcome and so are party invites.
ps. seriously sometimes i wonder why some FMLs even get published. Some are really not that big of a deal jfc people need to chill

Nymphetamatrix's page activity

Visits<b>Sporkly</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:41pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:02am<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:30pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 8:13pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 8:12am<b>VorpikeII</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 8:10pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 12:35am<b>Crometer</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 1:17pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 6:03pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:12am<b>QQMorePlox</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:24am<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:26pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:09am<b>FailBear920</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:57pm<b>gc327072</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 7:20pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 5:52pm<b>abbeyXD</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 12:52am<b>keepcalmandbacon</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 1:03am

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Nymphetamatrix's favorite FMLs

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

#20656960
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53817) - you deserved it (9054)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41768) - you deserved it (5335)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88785) - you deserved it (5628)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49286) - you deserved it (5277)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49958) - you deserved it (3152)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56043) - you deserved it (3850)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

#20649461
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40134) - you deserved it (14522)

On 05/08/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by Sebastian20 (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

#20649324
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40475) - you deserved it (5057)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45559) - you deserved it (5917)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62119) - you deserved it (11978)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

#20647074
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58919) - you deserved it (4599)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51734) - you deserved it (8568)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64668) - you deserved it (5956)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

#20643700
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45047) - you deserved it (7521)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)



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