Nymphetamatrix

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Offline (the 05/04/2015 at 1:29am)

Nymphetamatrix

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4088
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Nymphetamatrix : Party time seal for your party time needs.
Messages are welcome and so are party invites.
ps. seriously sometimes i wonder why some FMLs even get published. Some are really not that big of a deal jfc people need to chill

Nymphetamatrix's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:13am<b>Sporkly</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:20pm<b>zombiekiller52</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:16pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:02am<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:30pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 8:13pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 8:12am<b>VorpikeII</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 8:10pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 12:35am<b>Crometer</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 1:17pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 6:03pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:12am<b>QQMorePlox</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:24am<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:26pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:09am<b>FailBear920</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:57pm<b>gc327072</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 7:20pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 5:52pm

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Nymphetamatrix's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

by joolsie / 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm / United States / Love

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

by asdffhhjk / 05/15/2013 at 4:08am / Philippines (Manila) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

by Brenden / 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm / Love

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

by for the love of god / 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

by wellokaythen / 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

by toothache / 05/14/2013 at 8:03am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

by ktorih137 / 05/14/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Transportation

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

by emmingle / 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 8:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Work