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Nymphetamatrix

Offline (the 07/17/2014 at 5:38am) | Search for a member

Nymphetamatrix

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1057
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Nymphetamatrix : Party time seal for your party time needs.
Messages are welcome and so are party invites.

p.s. I'm not sure if I should be proud of the badges I've recieved.

Nymphetamatrix's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:02am<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:30pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 8:13pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 8:12am<b>VorpikeII</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 8:10pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 12:35am<b>Crometer</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 1:17pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 6:03pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:12am<b>QQMorePlox</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:24am<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:26pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:09am<b>FailBear920</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:57pm<b>gc327072</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 7:20pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 5:52pm<b>abbeyXD</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 12:52am<b>keepcalmandbacon</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 1:03am<b>Mimsz</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:24am

Nymphetamatrix's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Nymphetamatrix's badges

Nymphetamatrix's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48752) - you deserved it (3125)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50007) - you deserved it (13795)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30234) - you deserved it (5677)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54317) - you deserved it (4448)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53593) - you deserved it (5330)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58156) - you deserved it (9146)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

#20725929
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43589) - you deserved it (7018)

On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83415) - you deserved it (6884)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

#20716126
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34621) - you deserved it (8393)

On 06/09/2013 at 7:33pm - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54903) - you deserved it (64024)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

#20706851
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54830) - you deserved it (3414)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02am - love - by Justme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83336) - you deserved it (7975)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47265) - you deserved it (3380)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)



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