About Nymphetamatrix : I like puppies.
I'm starting to get used to the new FML layout.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53357) - you deserved it (6842)
Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65967) - you deserved it (3931)
On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)
Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29853) - you deserved it (3287)
On 05/22/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by AwkwardHaole808 - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (35409)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41563) - you deserved it (2452)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46161) - you deserved it (3440)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40988) - you deserved it (2585)
On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57286) - you deserved it (3359)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45855) - you deserved it (7969)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33550) - you deserved it (5595)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46941) - you deserved it (2608)
Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40494) - you deserved it (2148)
On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37117) - you deserved it (3965)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50507) - you deserved it (3303)
On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33928) - you deserved it (10457)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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