Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Nutcup

Offline (yesterday at 6:47pm) | Search for a member

Nutcup

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 August 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3550
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Nutcup's page activity

Visits<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 3:24pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 8:38am<b>jmrr</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 2:09pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:31pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/30/2012 at 10:38pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/18/2012 at 12:57pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 12/18/2011 at 2:23pm

Nutcup's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Nutcup's badges

Nutcup's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML

#5306456
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33945) - you deserved it (3734)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:10am - health - by navyma - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML

#5251989
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40017) - you deserved it (5814)

On 09/14/2009 at 2:54pm - love - by UnluckyArtist (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58362) - you deserved it (15061)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34269) - you deserved it (5914)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34269) - you deserved it (5914)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11607) - you deserved it (70425)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44870) - you deserved it (3493)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML

#4800729
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35011) - you deserved it (6521)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by singlesoon (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

#4730526
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33753) - you deserved it (3934)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36134) - you deserved it (4104)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15488) - you deserved it (42969)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34920) - you deserved it (78562)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

#4426507
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63020) - you deserved it (8335)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

#4406209
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47004) - you deserved it (19149)

On 08/09/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by ugh.. (man) - United States (Alaska)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: