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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10380
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Nuahavizu : I'm sarcastic, and my vices are that I am mildly self loathing and I dont take people who are optimistic seriously easily.

Beyond that, I'm a pretty nice guy. Send me a message and help prove to me that humanity isn't full of jerks and egocentric horn dogs. So far, nobody has even tried. (what does that say about people eh?)

I love music, and read every Pratchett book I can find.

'If you light a man on fire, he is warm for a day. If you set that man ON fire, he is warm the rest of his life.'

Nuahavizu's page activity

Visits<b>sammie2new</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 11:05pm<b>IJG2000</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:55pm<b>BekiJ1</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:26am<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:03pm<b>jkrist</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 11:22am<b>Patronize</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 11:15pm<b>Marjis</b> - the 11/21/2011 at 5:20pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 4:40pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/31/2011 at 10:53am<b>babelini</b> - the 10/31/2011 at 9:19am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 10/28/2011 at 4:22pm<b>Kiirst_mt1994</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 5:29pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/13/2011 at 5:16pm<b>Epikouros</b> - the 09/21/2011 at 1:06pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:12pm<b>IndiRae</b> - the 08/24/2011 at 12:45am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 11:51pm<b>JERZBornNRaised</b> - the 08/14/2011 at 6:22pm

Nuahavizu's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Nuahavizu's badges

Nuahavizu's favorite FMLs

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

by Anon / 05/18/2011 at 7:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

by yobruh / 05/17/2011 at 12:54am / Kids

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

by Username / 05/17/2011 at 12:05am / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

by bugnose / 05/16/2011 at 2:26am / Animals

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

by DMitch / 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, in the subway, a man ran up to me, grabbed me, and starting hugging me. He wouldn't stop hugging me, and his grip was too tight. I don't know what's worst, basically being harassed, or not being able to remember the last time I was hugged. FML

Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML

by Cheerieful / 05/07/2011 at 12:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, the lease on my house ended and I finished moving in with my girlfriend. After everything was moved in, she broke up with me. Hello homelessness. FML

by Username / 04/30/2011 at 11:16pm / United States / Love

Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML

by Tara / 04/30/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2011 at 6:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

by electricpuddle / 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm / Animals

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

by woahitbechels / 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous