Nuahavizu

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Nuahavizu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9471
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Nuahavizu : I'm sarcastic, and my vices are that I am mildly self loathing and I dont take people who are optimistic seriously easily.

Beyond that, I'm a pretty nice guy. Send me a message and help prove to me that humanity isn't full of jerks and egocentric horn dogs. So far, nobody has even tried. (what does that say about people eh?)

I love music, and read every Pratchett book I can find.

'If you light a man on fire, he is warm for a day. If you set that man ON fire, he is warm the rest of his life.'

Nuahavizu's page activity

Visits<b>sammie2new</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 11:05pm<b>IJG2000</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:55pm<b>BekiJ1</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:26am<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:03pm<b>jkrist</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 11:22am<b>Patronize</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 11:15pm<b>Marjis</b> - the 11/21/2011 at 5:20pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 4:40pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/31/2011 at 10:53am<b>babelini</b> - the 10/31/2011 at 9:19am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 10/28/2011 at 4:22pm<b>Kiirst_mt1994</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 5:29pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/13/2011 at 5:16pm<b>Epikouros</b> - the 09/21/2011 at 1:06pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:12pm<b>IndiRae</b> - the 08/24/2011 at 12:45am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 11:51pm<b>JERZBornNRaised</b> - the 08/14/2011 at 6:22pm

Nuahavizu's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Nuahavizu's badges

Nuahavizu's favorite FMLs

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

by ryanlogan / 08/31/2011 at 2:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

by j_babydoll6520 / 08/26/2011 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

by RensM / 08/20/2011 at 5:54am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

by lostforwords / 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm / Ireland (Tipperary) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

by makeitstop / 08/04/2011 at 9:41am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

by tgd4444 / 07/23/2011 at 6:29am / Malaysia (Johor) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML

by MailMaster / 07/22/2011 at 12:20am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work

Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML

by jordy1995 / 07/16/2011 at 12:25am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I grinned for five minutes straight because my friends told me it would put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. It gave me a migraine. FML

by so much for a good day / 07/15/2011 at 1:14pm / United States / Health

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

by MooCow / 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm / United States (Montana) / Animals

Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

by _Emilyy / 07/12/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous