NowhereFaster

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Offline (the 11/03/2015 at 11:12pm)

NowhereFaster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2341
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NowhereFaster : This member has better things to do than fill in the description.

NowhereFaster's page activity

Visits<b>fightyourtitle</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 3:24pm<b>sleepyfires</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:48pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 6:52pm<b>JoshMohawk</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 3:50pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 11:05pm<b>Rob2342</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 11:43pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 4:01am<b>isabellegypsy</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 7:16am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/08/2011 at 2:56am<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 4:20pm<b>superficialheart</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 7:37am

NowhereFaster's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of NowhereFaster's badges

NowhereFaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

by CheeseMonsters / 01/24/2010 at 7:28am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Animals

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

by taman / 09/12/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

by JayBausch / 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

by emperor / 07/21/2009 at 1:38am / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithful to. A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2009 at 1:59am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

by oopsie / 05/24/2009 at 10:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Work