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NowhereFaster

Offline (the 02/13/2014 at 4:07pm) | Search for a member

NowhereFaster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 864
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NowhereFaster : This member has better things to do than fill in the description.

NowhereFaster's page activity

Visits<b>JoshMohawk</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 3:50pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 11:05pm<b>Rob2342</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 11:43pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 4:01am<b>isabellegypsy</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 7:16am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/08/2011 at 2:56am<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 4:20pm<b>superficialheart</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 7:37am

NowhereFaster's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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NowhereFaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42086) - you deserved it (11905)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

#7540376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (2948)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:28am - animals - by CheeseMonsters (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11523) - you deserved it (36681)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#5198874
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39728) - you deserved it (4779)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72473) - you deserved it (5794)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45891) - you deserved it (6416)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49496) - you deserved it (6424)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (27738)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML

#3812177
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13946) - you deserved it (64778)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithful to. A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML

#3496673
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75232) - you deserved it (3988)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82092) - you deserved it (217753)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12524) - you deserved it (212107)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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