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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10403) - you deserved it (35946)
On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42877) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42877) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42877) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (51449)
On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31471) - you deserved it (4348)
On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54204) - you deserved it (6278)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (3647)
On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139886) - you deserved it (32566)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (198558) - you deserved it (38571)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (166917) - you deserved it (6646)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46787) - you deserved it (127937)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13651) - you deserved it (109129)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199718) - you deserved it (58898)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75975) - you deserved it (27257)
On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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