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NotSoHigh

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NotSoHigh
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  • Number of visits : 287
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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NotSoHigh's favorite FMLs

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (17615)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

#19787973
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6089) - you deserved it (36932)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

#19717228
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (6123)

On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML

#19706786
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25513) - you deserved it (3031)

On 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm - money - by thedri11 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32791) - you deserved it (8324)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32791) - you deserved it (8324)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (6624)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29251) - you deserved it (8171)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

#19682010
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16252) - you deserved it (3847)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

#19678152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16979) - you deserved it (1838)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

#19666346
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (1643)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

#19664729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21957) - you deserved it (3683)

On 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18321) - you deserved it (7523)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

#19617279
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19180) - you deserved it (2767)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:54pm - kids - by just me (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10233) - you deserved it (35013)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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