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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4632) - you deserved it (26555)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21662) - you deserved it (4679)
On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21530) - you deserved it (2226)
On 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm - money - by thedri11 - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (6407)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (6407)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States
Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (4922)
On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25511) - you deserved it (6297)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12970) - you deserved it (2805)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16409) - you deserved it (1797)
On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar
Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16857) - you deserved it (1200)
On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19344) - you deserved it (2870)
On 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14146) - you deserved it (5562)
On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15480) - you deserved it (2049)
On 05/13/2012 at 2:54pm - kids - by just me (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43120) - you deserved it (11795)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (9420)
On 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm - misc - by Mel (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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