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NotGabe

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NotGabe
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1140
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 20 posted

About NotGabe : Checklist:

[x] Be a part of a Guinness Book of World Records record breaking charity walk.

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NotGabe's FML badges

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NotGabe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

#20842136
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37497) - you deserved it (4053)

On 08/17/2013 at 8:27pm - love - by WartCream - United States (Kansas)

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53163) - you deserved it (5836)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "ew". FML

#20832005
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41570) - you deserved it (3972)

On 08/11/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by ew - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40219) - you deserved it (4659)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44194) - you deserved it (20782)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

#20822322
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42098) - you deserved it (5977)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46712) - you deserved it (5609)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48960) - you deserved it (8617)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML

#20751029
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (3376)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by smh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45995) - you deserved it (5722)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

#20694826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46027) - you deserved it (3883)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72318) - you deserved it (3137)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (6122)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)



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