About NotGabe : Checklist:
[x] Be a part of a Guinness Book of World Records record breaking charity walk.
About NotGabe : Checklist:
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The Thumb strikes back
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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NotGabe's favorite FMLs
by Ryuun12 / 10/02/2014 at 11:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by super maman / 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm / United States / Love
by ElementaryEdGuy / 09/11/2014 at 11:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML
by emilyparker / 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML
by winstonweigand / 08/14/2014 at 6:40pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 7:35am / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
by Jeff / 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm / United States / Love
by MaddyN / 07/08/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML
by notacashier / 07/03/2014 at 8:29am / United States (New York) / Money