About NotGabe : Checklist:
[x] Be a part of a Guinness Book of World Records record breaking charity walk.
About NotGabe : Checklist:
NotGabe's FML badges
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
NotGabe's favorite FMLs
by RIPcareer / 10/18/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
by iskalion / 10/10/2015 at 1:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/08/2015 at 11:10am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, while working alone, I decided to just try some random impressions, and so I ended up doing a French accent when a customer walked in. To avoid embarrassment, I had to continue faking the accent as he struck up a long conversation with me. FML
by Joshua Sheldon / 09/18/2015 at 9:56pm / Australia (South Australia) / Work
by smf_ds / 07/31/2015 at 4:48pm / Portugal (Porto) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
by notacreep / 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML
by baberuth / 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by stitchesgirl12 / 04/07/2015 at 12:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML
by MirandaJones / 03/20/2015 at 10:41am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by brokeforever / 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm / Latvia (Riga) / Animals
by RadioactiveKush / 03/01/2015 at 2:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by wtf?? / 02/09/2015 at 8:26am / Saint Vincent and the Grenadines / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…