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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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NotFML_FYL

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NotFML_FYL
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 447
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

#8250331 (283)

I agree, your life sucks (5431) - you deserved it (22775)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (31747) - you deserved it (1332)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (749)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

#7824554 (342)

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (7314)

On 02/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nonameLiz (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615 (628)

I agree, your life sucks (35462) - you deserved it (28277)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML

#5972550 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (23222) - you deserved it (6127)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by HungryGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52119) - you deserved it (11879)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (10108) - you deserved it (41618)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

#1923265 (397)

I agree, your life sucks (86782) - you deserved it (7138)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)