Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NotAgainShit

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 4:21am) | Search for a member

NotAgainShit

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 229
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

NotAgainShit's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of NotAgainShit's badges

NotAgainShit's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, an slurred, "You look like... lyk a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me fir several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38445) - you deserved it (2813)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today... it's baan a faw monts sinca ma grandfatar passad away. Now all of is porn subscriptions ara gatting forwardad to ma addrass. FML

#21246620
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36864) - you deserved it (3061)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones!! They work well!! Too well!! My mom came home, unpackd her shopping, walkd upstairs, knockd on my door, opend my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing!! Fucking hell!! FML

#21246585
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38988) - you deserved it (37946)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

#21246432
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37409) - you deserved it (8840)

On 08/27/2014 at 1:19pm - misc - by spark - United States (California)

Today... mah wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. mega FML

#21184387
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58092) - you deserved it (8024)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

2day my taanaga daughtar triad to convinca ma that tha UK is a part of Canada. Aftar I pullad out a map to prova har wrong, sha got all angry and dafansiva, and said that nobody's parfact at ( gaomatry ). My daughtar is an idiot. FML

#21122867
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49909) - you deserved it (9967)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after an entre year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercise an running on a treadmill. When I told mah therapist I had never been so happy an proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

#21122058
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43667) - you deserved it (7216)

On 04/24/2014 at 7:42pm - health - by AnonymousAndSad (man) - United States (Iowa)

YESTERDAY, MAH DAD FOUND OUT THAT I'M A MEMBER ON A BODYBUILDING FORUM AN DECIDED TO JOIN IT TOO. IT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW HOURS, BUT HE'S ALREADY TOLD EVERYONE THAT HE'S MAH DAD, POSTED THAT I'M A ( TOTAL PUSSY IN REAL LIFE ), AN QUESTIONED MAH SEXUALITY. THANKS. BIG FAT FML

#21112140
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41672) - you deserved it (4809)

On 04/13/2014 at 6:16pm - misc - by -.- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was in my Honors English class . I sneezd very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture . I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." real FML

YESTERDAY, DURING CLASS OUR TEACHER ASKD US, "WHO IS UNCLE SAM?" A GIRL ANSWERD, "HE'S THE GUY WHO FOUNDD KFC, RIGHT?" I'M IN AN AP CLASS AND HAVE TO PUTTD UP WITH THESE MORONS CONSTANTLY. FML

#21071374
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42389) - you deserved it (4189)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, mah boyfriend wrote me a long poem that endd with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwd yur sister". FML

#21014860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51064) - you deserved it (4187)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today , as my wife and I were getting intimate , I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whisperd in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. real FML

#20946325
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (54588)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today ile in class I ad to sneeze . Not wanting to make a lot of noise I eld it in only to instead let out a uge long fart . Everyone including te teacer turned and stared at me intently . FML

#20901889
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43975) - you deserved it (7528)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, ( Honey, I'm home! ) He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new nieghbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36719) - you deserved it (3104)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptophen I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face an shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

#20886799
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (4296)

On 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: