Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NotAUser

Online | Search for a member

NotAUser

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 September 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 326
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About NotAUser : I'm from Georgia. Born and raised on a farm. I show goats and dairy heifers for the FFA. If you want to know anything else about me or if you just want to talk feel free to message me

NotAUser's page activity

Visits<b>nunchux88</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Pstraka6</b> - 23 hours ago<b>morondon000</b> - yesterday at 4:24am<b>terryaly</b> - yesterday at 12:47am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:25pm<b>Killer67a</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 9:38pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:51am<b>Will_I_Are_57</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:48am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:07am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:04pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:41pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:25pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:34pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:42pm<b>thehouseisonfire</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:55am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:12am<b>orbit</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:42pm<b>LEDZEPPALLTHEWAY</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 11:35am

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:09am<b>morondon000</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:03am<b>Landesanity</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:29am<b>CambodianPenguin</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 7:45am<b>urdirtyolduncle</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:54am<b>kee_breezy32</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:15am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:48pm

NotAUser's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of NotAUser's badges

NotAUser's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

#21253662
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34634) - you deserved it (3232)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35313) - you deserved it (5000)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46894) - you deserved it (5514)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46894) - you deserved it (5514)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49087) - you deserved it (21221)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got suspended from work after getting caught reading a work-related FML. Irony is funny, but it doesn't pay the bills. FML

#21226986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32237) - you deserved it (15539)

On 08/01/2014 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40757) - you deserved it (3481)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

#21205262
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37910) - you deserved it (19637)

On 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm - work - by dammit hearing aid - United States (Iowa)

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42919) - you deserved it (6125)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52362) - you deserved it (4606)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend over how she and a male friend have been going out together, drinking and partying, and at one point holding hands in the street. She angrily accused ME of cheating, because "confronting people like that" is apparently something only cheaters themselves do. FML

#21173408
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46140) - you deserved it (4601)

On 06/13/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46229) - you deserved it (6971)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: