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Nosakare56's favorite FMLs
Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML
by shrek / 08/29/2016 at 6:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by b5b0n36 / 08/11/2016 at 12:47pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/03/2016 at 2:01pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by so embarrassing / 08/02/2016 at 2:27am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/22/2016 at 1:17pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 2:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother set me up on a blind date. I've been single for years and he said she was a perfect match for me, so I was excited. Turned out the fucker was playing a prank. The girl was my sister, who was just as surprised as I was. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2016 at 9:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 2:24pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML
by Joey / 06/04/2016 at 2:52pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love
by zefronke8 / 04/17/2016 at 2:01pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:13am / United States / Health
Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML
by UnicornWaffles / 03/16/2016 at 1:23pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…