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Nosakare56's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/22/2016 at 1:17pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 2:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother set me up on a blind date. I've been single for years and he said she was a perfect match for me, so I was excited. Turned out the fucker was playing a prank. The girl was my sister, who was just as surprised as I was. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2016 at 9:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 2:24pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML
by Joey / 06/04/2016 at 2:52pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love
by zefronke8 / 04/17/2016 at 2:01pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:13am / United States / Health
Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML
by UnicornWaffles / 03/16/2016 at 1:23pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy
Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML
by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
Today, after a lot of complaints from other members, I told an old lady at the gym I work at that she couldn't sit in the sauna naked. She responded by grabbing her boobs and shaking them in my face. I don't get paid enough for this. FML
by rapunzel3416 / 03/14/2016 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Work
Today, while trying to sleep, my roommates were shouting in the next room. When I poked my head out to tell them to shut up, I was greeted to the sight of one of them with his knob duct-taped inside a gun holster, and the other one trying to rip it off. And they wonder why I'm not more social. FML
by NotEnoughBleach / 03/13/2016 at 11:58pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by awkwardmandy / 03/11/2016 at 1:28pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love
Today, a shifty customer came in to my store and was hanging around for about 30 minutes. Apparently, he took that time to put religiously-motivated anti-abortion notes into each and every pair of socks. In the following hours, I had 17 angry returns and was personally threatened twice. FML
by socknotes / 03/08/2016 at 11:02pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…