About NoorFML : The awkward moment when you thought for the last two years that you are 5'1" but you are actually 4'11". :/
Anyway, just me with the family. Do you like our new puppy?
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29394) - you deserved it (7937) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6658) - you deserved it (15799)
On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4511) - you deserved it (51321)
On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4320) - you deserved it (18131)
On 08/23/2012 at 2:54am - money - by chrisbravo - United States
Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13138) - you deserved it (1101)
On 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by idontbleedfromthere (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20210) - you deserved it (1543)
On 08/22/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by WTF (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12734) - you deserved it (969)
On 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by baffled (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31144) - you deserved it (1491)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24104) - you deserved it (1105)
On 08/18/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19512) - you deserved it (1620)
On 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm - misc - by wow, thanks (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8845) - you deserved it (14882)
On 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13717) - you deserved it (1297)
On 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by CollegeBound (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15528) - you deserved it (1156)
On 08/17/2012 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom bitched me out, calling me a selfish pig and saying that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm so conceited. All of this because I started watching the latest episodes of Breaking Bad without her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14156) - you deserved it (2307)
On 08/17/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by elijah (man) - United States
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24375) - you deserved it (6201)
On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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