About NoorFML : EZIO! KITTY! You RUINED my shot!
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37173) - you deserved it (14044)
On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21820) - you deserved it (3631)
On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (22287)
On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16978) - you deserved it (1086)
On 10/19/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by NoorFML - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13936) - you deserved it (3035)
On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (5588)
On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (5077)
On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (1362)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13508) - you deserved it (5992)
On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16353) - you deserved it (1794)
On 08/25/2012 at 2:53am - misc - by coolcocoxxx (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17822) - you deserved it (1183)
On 08/24/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by ipayyourbillsgorramit (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14097) - you deserved it (2872)
On 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8560) - you deserved it (13654)
On 08/24/2012 at 2:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14347) - you deserved it (1593)
On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13825) - you deserved it (1680)
On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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