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Nomenth's favorite FMLs
by yoked / 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML
by Harry / 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
by Yoooooo0 / 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML
by baddaughter / 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Holidays
by TasedAndDazed / 10/09/2009 at 11:05am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Herdad / 07/30/2009 at 7:34am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by SwordFish8 / 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by boardman / 05/24/2009 at 10:17pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
by hyper12332 / 04/29/2009 at 10:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
by whymommywhy / 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
by lifesucks4me / 02/23/2009 at 7:51am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by EpicFail / 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…