About NomNomCupcake : I love music, singing, reading, and most of al writing! I write poems, books, stories, and lyrics! My favorite bands of all time, are Blood on the dance floor, paramore, falling in reverse, avenged sevenfold, cascada, and basshunter.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17059) - you deserved it (1007)
On 08/27/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by Mandi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25293) - you deserved it (1986)
On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20984) - you deserved it (5054)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (6963)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (4109)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6626) - you deserved it (44643)
On 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by henley -
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10467) - you deserved it (19224)
On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21042) - you deserved it (6094)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:06am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24748) - you deserved it (3441)
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23512) - you deserved it (514)
On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36997) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17968) - you deserved it (7446)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23204) - you deserved it (3691)
On 03/23/2012 at 3:39am - love - by Hana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (2677)
On 03/02/2012 at 3:30am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (1895)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Monday 20 May 2013
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