NoahStaz

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NoahStaz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 June 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1241
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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NoahStaz's page activity

Visits<b>lexiisme723</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 4:33pm<b>kaitlyn98</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:55pm<b>pavingboy</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:58am<b>bluestrawberry17</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:30am<b>thes7274473</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:02am<b>LarissaT18</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 4:40pm<b>elnorris14</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 10:31pm<b>DidntKnowShesAHo</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 5:04am<b>Okie_16</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 11:12pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 10:02pm<b>SingingCanyon</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 1:20pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 08/31/2011 at 9:28pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 7:41am

NoahStaz's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

NoahStaz's favorite FMLs

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

by NaniNarcotic / 08/16/2011 at 6:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

by cadillacfrank / 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

by pleasestop / 06/11/2011 at 4:48am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

by Mike / 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm / Health

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

by cdn_steed / 04/23/2011 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

by kindgartin / 04/23/2011 at 5:26am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

by embarassed / 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm / United States / Health

Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML

by GshDrnt / 04/20/2011 at 10:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in IKEA when my friends and I thought it would be fun to play hide and seek. We all hid; I was in a good hiding spot. Half an hour later, I was still there. I texted my friends to see where they were. They all left to see a movie, and forgot about me. FML

by Nicole / 04/03/2011 at 3:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

by peedonme / 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

by yogapants / 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Health