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Noah98's favorite FMLs
by shit Music / 06/30/2016 at 3:32am / Slovenia (Ljubljana) / Work
Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2016 at 10:20pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by Noah98 / 05/25/2016 at 2:53pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, a woman threw a sandwich at me, told me to go back to "fucktard island" and demanded to see my manager. All because the mayonnaise sandwich she ordered, shockingly enough, had mayonnaise in it. FML
by xoxo_retailslave420_xoxo / 05/21/2016 at 8:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I took my AP US History exam. For some reason, my school let the school nurse proctor the exam. She read the instructions for the wrong test and told us to seal up our tests, despite having another section left in that book. She wouldn't listen to us when we tried to tell her. FML
by soccerswim20 / 05/18/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
by lissabobissa / 07/20/2015 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Work
Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML
by poorbastard / 08/30/2014 at 4:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by cheap / 06/18/2014 at 9:42am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Money
by a very unlucky dude. / 06/18/2014 at 2:37am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML
by Apcn / 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
by idiot says "you raised him" / 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
- Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…