About Noah197099 : I hang out with a group of some of the funniest kids in school, so some of my comments might be funnier than the actual FML. ;) Other times, my comments may seem extremely childish and inappropriate. It's probably because my humor is so advanced that it's out of this world.... I've said too much. Also, my selfie game is fire as can be seen from my profile pics.🔥Feel free to message me, I love to meet new people (I'm desperate).
Noah197099's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Noah197099's favorite FMLs
Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML
by Repethetic / 04/02/2015 at 8:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Alabama) / Kids
by bradix1186 / 02/21/2015 at 1:00pm / Philippines (North Cotabato) / Health
Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML
by CatLady4Lyf / 02/16/2015 at 9:22am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML
by retailshell / 01/28/2015 at 10:01am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
by shifala / 01/22/2015 at 4:02am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Health
Today, my professor was doing roll-call. As usual, she didn't say my name because it's so close to the person before me. So to differentiate, she decided she would call the girl before me "the pretty one". FML
by The Ugly One / 01/21/2015 at 9:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by BDSM4Jesus / 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/01/2015 at 10:09am / United States / Kids
Today, I went on a first date, only for us to find the restaurant wasn't open on New Year's Day. My date suggested going to the mall instead. We drove in our own cars. Me: the mall, him: home. I waited for 40 minutes before realising he'd stood me up. Happy New Year to me. FML
by newyearstandup / 01/01/2015 at 6:56am / Australia / Love
Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML
by sandwhiched / 01/01/2015 at 3:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by mikki bee / 12/30/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so for a laugh, I got up and quietly pennied the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decided to let him out. Turned out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad. FML
by PikidiliJo / 12/24/2014 at 2:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone… Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any… Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to…
- Today, while showing a group of guys my heavy bag routine at the gym, I attempted to perform a high… Today, I woke up from a nap because I heard my mother and her fiancée having rough sex while I and… Today, I was yelled at by my mom for making dinner. She said I wasn't old enough to use the stove.…