This member hasn't filled in their description.
NoSubway4Me's FML badges
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
NoSubway4Me's favorite FMLs
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
by -1 friend / 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how… Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on… Today, my best friend of 12 years told me she couldn't attend my wedding. What was so important to…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…