About NlGHTHAWK : Jui jitsu, wrestling, track and volleyball. Gym is my second home, I have an interesting life.
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NlGHTHAWK's favorite FMLs
Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML
by way2go / 10/23/2013 at 12:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Zkroger / 10/23/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 10:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals
by moneymoneymoney / 10/08/2013 at 10:34am / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML
by thisguy / 10/08/2013 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents favoritism towards my brother really shone through when we moved house and he got the nicest and by far biggest room. I wouldn't mind, but my brother is in college overseas and never comes home. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2013 at 11:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by BasketGhost / 10/02/2013 at 2:36am / United States (New York) / Animals
by courtnayy / 09/30/2013 at 10:47am / United States / Love
by poor teacher / 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML
by peejay6831 / 09/23/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Work
by me / 09/22/2013 at 9:34am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on… Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a… Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it…