Njord09

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Njord09

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 June 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1243
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Njord09's page activity

Visits<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:38pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 11:36am<b>be_brezzi</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:51pm<b>Allegretto</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 11:41am<b>desidog</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 12:24pm<b>chocogatto12</b> - the 12/28/2011 at 10:13am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:15pm<b>chaoticevilfairy</b> - the 02/21/2011 at 3:22am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:26am<b>Lobster</b> - the 11/27/2009 at 10:13pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 7:19pm<b>Grffin</b> - the 07/25/2009 at 8:38am<b>damnthatsuck</b> - the 07/25/2009 at 1:16am<b>dk2008</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 10:34pm<b>steel2</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 4:55pm<b>Athabaska</b> - the 07/22/2009 at 5:40pm<b>AAAAHHHH12</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 10:41pm

Njord09's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Njord09's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

by Mom / 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

by kingpin7 / 03/30/2011 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

by Username / 03/09/2011 at 5:04am / Love

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

by Justme / 02/20/2011 at 7:23am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

by anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

by blaahh / 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

by sickly / 02/18/2011 at 8:06am / Work

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

by Username / 02/18/2011 at 4:33am / Work

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

by stuckinalift / 02/17/2011 at 8:31pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

by fmylife117 / 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

by biglady / 02/17/2011 at 2:02am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I underwent several cardiac tests involving heart monitoring nodes placed all over my chest. The lab techs didn't pre-shave the areas and yanked out big clumps of chest hair as they removed the 10 nodes. They laughed, and said it could take up to a year for the hair to grow back. FML

by Magilla / 02/16/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (Indiana) / Health