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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1590
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Nitsuaaa's page activity

Visits<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 9:28am<b>blakelastovica</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:47am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:24pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:14pm<b>kamineko</b> - the 10/22/2010 at 7:49am<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 08/23/2010 at 9:57pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 07/10/2010 at 8:24pm<b>kittygirl24</b> - the 02/23/2010 at 9:51pm<b>aardvarkish</b> - the 02/23/2010 at 5:59pm

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Nitsuaaa's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

by princev / 06/18/2011 at 6:32am / United States / Health

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

by Alec / 06/15/2011 at 5:02am / United States / Health

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

by John jacob / 06/13/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

by Patrick R / 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML

by TheNerd / 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

by pigeons_suck / 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

by coolbeans123 / 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm / Singapore / Animals

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

by richkief76 / 05/09/2011 at 10:34pm / Kids

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

by howler / 02/15/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend cancelled our vacation plans because I'll be on my period, arguing that, "It wouldn't be a real holiday." FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / France / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 2:11am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy