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Nitsuaaa

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Nitsuaaa
  • Town/Country : Kenoshit, Wisconsin, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 899
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Nitsuaaa's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33544) - you deserved it (3609)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (3113)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8871) - you deserved it (96296)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

#16673731
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14141) - you deserved it (31552)

On 06/15/2011 at 5:02am - health - by Alec - United States

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12516) - you deserved it (45856)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41763) - you deserved it (4243)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30984) - you deserved it (6079)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML

#16136002
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (8718)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm - love - by TheNerd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

#16131734
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26996) - you deserved it (2342)

On 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm - health - by pigeons_suck (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

#16117188
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29048) - you deserved it (5562)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

#16111530
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (6322)

On 05/09/2011 at 10:34pm - kids - by richkief76 -

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9241) - you deserved it (56324)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend cancelled our vacation plans because I'll be on my period, arguing that, "It wouldn't be a real holiday." FML

#14613106
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26465) - you deserved it (7268) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66237) - you deserved it (3484)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33177) - you deserved it (3815)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)



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