Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Nitsuaaa

Search for a member

Nitsuaaa

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1018
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Nitsuaaa's page activity

Visits<b>blakelastovica</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:47am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:24pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:14pm<b>kamineko</b> - the 10/22/2010 at 7:49am<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 08/23/2010 at 9:57pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 07/10/2010 at 8:24pm<b>kittygirl24</b> - the 02/23/2010 at 9:51pm<b>aardvarkish</b> - the 02/23/2010 at 5:59pm

Nitsuaaa's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Nitsuaaa's badges

Nitsuaaa's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37730) - you deserved it (4003)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52385) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9581) - you deserved it (100534)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

#16673731
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15323) - you deserved it (33454)

On 06/15/2011 at 5:02am - health - by Alec - United States

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13659) - you deserved it (47877)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48125) - you deserved it (5567)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (6414)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML

#16136002
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31007) - you deserved it (8948)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm - love - by TheNerd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

#16131734
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28209) - you deserved it (2431)

On 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm - health - by pigeons_suck (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

#16117188
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34088) - you deserved it (6983)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

#16111530
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (7740)

On 05/09/2011 at 10:34pm - kids - by richkief76 -

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you deserved it (57992)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend cancelled our vacation plans because I'll be on my period, arguing that, "It wouldn't be a real holiday." FML

#14613106
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (7561) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68514) - you deserved it (3648)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34489) - you deserved it (3926)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: