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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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NinjaOfYourDream

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NinjaOfYourDream
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 210
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I thought it would be funny to draw a d*ck on my friend's binder while he was out of the class. While perfecting the drawing I realized the class had gone quiet. Looking up I realised my teacher had been watching me. I had to stand up infront of the class and talk about the drawing. FML

#6278567 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (4086) - you deserved it (31817)

On 11/12/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by MaiB (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

#2768683 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (53196) - you deserved it (3940)

On 06/10/2009 at 10:49am - kids - by Lisaa918 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

#2767405 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (49046) - you deserved it (4391)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:12am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699 (371)

I agree, your life sucks (90345) - you deserved it (4758)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034 (457)

I agree, your life sucks (44929) - you deserved it (48047)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my nametag. I had been using other people's names like Maria and Caie for a week, so I was happy to be called my own name. I put it on and got to work. Ten minutes later, I was called into the office. I got laid off. I got to wear my nametag for 10 minutes. FML

#2733384 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (2229)

On 06/08/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by nametag (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

#2729024 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (59382) - you deserved it (6145)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (10500) - you deserved it (62459)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML

#2693631 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (45619) - you deserved it (17494)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:21pm - kids - by Ignatius (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

#2688793 (488)

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (224169)

On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (36222) - you deserved it (87896)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "And she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

#2674765 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (39607) - you deserved it (2039)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:25pm - kids - by Shelly (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML

#2658966 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (42481) - you deserved it (5950)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, my ipod was stolen from my desk when I was away. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (56931) - you deserved it (5526)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (15341) - you deserved it (50731)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)