About Nikki_ASW : Yuuup(:
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43466) - you deserved it (6384)
On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62256) - you deserved it (2189)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (106526)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickleing my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44608) - you deserved it (4459)
On 05/16/2009 at 7:26am - kids - by badmom101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54475) - you deserved it (1801)
On 05/14/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by Hank (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (67392) - you deserved it (17983)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47221) - you deserved it (12433)
On 04/29/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by PoopTart (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (75105)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60776) - you deserved it (2700)
On 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm - kids - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML
I agree, your life sucks (57186) - you deserved it (3420)
On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51132) - you deserved it (6595)
On 04/05/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by lifestinks - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47975) - you deserved it (30276)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by enriquegay (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML
I agree, your life sucks (12287) - you deserved it (55906)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (65568)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (316792) - you deserved it (27884)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Friday 24 May 2013
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