Nikki_ASW

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Nikki_ASW

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5205
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Nikki_ASW : Yuuup(:

Nikki_ASW's page activity

Visits<b>xuankyogre</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 11:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:08pm<b>im_cb</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:02am<b>IceBerge</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:26pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:35am<b>JuliusSeizure</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:02am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 12:28am<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:46am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:02pm<b>john_smth</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Amanyyyyyy</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 6:34pm<b>nubbles10</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 11:32am<b>flametrafox</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 10:26pm<b>ActionFearo</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 11:27pm<b>ThatFancyPenn</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 12:57am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 12:33am<b>Sp4de</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 11:31am<b>lpf061472</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 8:04am

Nikki_ASW's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Nikki_ASW's favorite FMLs

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

by Rory / 07/23/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML

by DramaQueen / 07/19/2009 at 2:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

by failure / 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 07/10/2009 at 1:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

by toomuchmetal / 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter finally walked down the aisle with a man she loves very much. While I was escorting her, I managed to trip and fall down revealing what I've been trying to hide all of this time: my shiny gleaming bald head that showed when my wig fell off. FML

by Unlucky / 06/16/2009 at 6:49am / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

by Hackmanjones / 06/13/2009 at 10:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

by Mojo_Jojo / 06/13/2009 at 7:01am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a volunteer at the local daycare, I was with 3 and 4 year olds. They thought it would be funny to trip me and then jump on my back. I hit my elbow hard on the ground. A bunch of pre-schoolers beat me up. FML

by biotch / 06/06/2009 at 7:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

by paranoid / 06/06/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

by emoney / 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals