Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Nikki_ASW

Search for a member

Nikki_ASW

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3000
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Nikki_ASW : Yuuup(:

Nikki_ASW's page activity

Visits<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - yesterday at 5:02pm<b>john_smth</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Amanyyyyyy</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 6:34pm<b>nubbles10</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 11:32am<b>flametrafox</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 10:26pm<b>ActionFearo</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 11:27pm<b>ThatFancyPenn</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 12:57am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 12:33am<b>Sp4de</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 11:31am<b>lpf061472</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 8:04am<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 1:16am<b>RogueX7</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 4:05am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 9:46pm<b>idunno99</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 10:53pm<b>Dickcheney1</b> - the 10/12/2011 at 3:58pm<b>fadingaway</b> - the 04/01/2011 at 7:42am<b>SurfMyBoard</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 9:01pm<b>cptmorgan15</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 6:46pm

Nikki_ASW's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Nikki_ASW's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162129) - you deserved it (8158)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

#5699307
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (10979)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

#5699307
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (10979)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

#5579268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13353) - you deserved it (40947)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

#5480779
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7025) - you deserved it (56200)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by veggocake (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58363) - you deserved it (15061)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

#5096341
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47423) - you deserved it (6385)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. When the show was over I got the chance to meet them. When I met the guitarist and told him my name, he recognized me. To my disappointment it was as the facebook creeper. FML

#5021143
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9493) - you deserved it (45239)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by creeper - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (8380)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62416) - you deserved it (15861)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53107) - you deserved it (19874)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out I need serious surgery on my right knee to remove a tumor growing underneath it. I will not be able to walk for 3 weeks, and the doctor told me to take off for 5 months from work just for full recovery. My father's response, "You'll do anything not to work." FML

Today, I went to visit teachers at the high school I graduated from 3 months ago as valedictorian. Turns out, I had an expired parking permit, and I didn't properly get a visitor pass. The school went into a "yellow lockdown" because of me. My car was towed. I got arrested for trespassing. FML

#4344538
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40001) - you deserved it (7947)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

#4285773
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15194) - you deserved it (34561)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: