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Nikki_ASW

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Nikki_ASW
  • Town/Country : St.Augustine, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 2675
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Nikki_ASW : Yuuup(:

Nikki_ASW's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Nikki_ASW's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7872) - you deserved it (99980)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42057) - you deserved it (5198)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you deserved it (3129)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took the motherboard out of my computer so I could put more RAM and a new video card in. While I was in the bathroom my mom threw it all out because it 'looked like garbage'. FML

#14665828
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24849) - you deserved it (3434)

On 01/21/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by computerguy (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35242) - you deserved it (7057)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

#14157064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9801) - you deserved it (18175)

On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

#14024877
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27724) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/29/2010 at 4:17pm - kids - by nybaby - United States (New York)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9170) - you deserved it (19854)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (8807)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

#13688243
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33577) - you deserved it (5772)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (8523)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML

#13173364
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (2462)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by lalala_hahaha - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML

#13173364
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (2462)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by lalala_hahaha - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

#13087587
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18166) - you deserved it (4992)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)



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