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Nikki_ASW

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Nikki_ASW
  • Town/Country : St.Augustine, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 2698
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Nikki_ASW : Yuuup(:

Nikki_ASW's last visitors

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Nikki_ASW's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Nikki_ASW's favorite FMLs

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7867) - you deserved it (50677)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80502) - you deserved it (11878)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

#17694552
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (2003)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:34am - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Reserved

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29475) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22963) - you deserved it (6557)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24092) - you deserved it (4192)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36945) - you deserved it (10879)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46718) - you deserved it (7668)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34969) - you deserved it (4838)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (3406)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML

#16911050
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37520) - you deserved it (3318)

On 06/29/2011 at 4:41pm - love - by nolove4me (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62730) - you deserved it (10960)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11506) - you deserved it (55308)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35823) - you deserved it (4649)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29479) - you deserved it (11637)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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