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NikkiNiks16's favorite FMLs
by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2011 at 3:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Henry / 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML
by DrakeScott / 11/02/2011 at 2:14pm / United States (Maine) / Love
by titoutou222 / 10/22/2011 at 8:40am / France / Kids
Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 6:26am / Singapore / Love
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML
by Mack / 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by anonomys / 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
by -- / 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…