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NikkiNiks16's favorite FMLs
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
by Target / 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML
by gilbirds / 02/06/2013 at 7:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML
by Awkward / 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Health
by I'maboutobarf / 01/31/2013 at 5:28am / Australia / Health
by Miss Blairgowrie / 01/30/2013 at 2:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love
by normal / 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals
- Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the… Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told… Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I…