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Nightstrike07

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Nightstrike07

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  • Number of visits : 736
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Nightstrike07's favorite FMLs

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

#13045293
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26630) - you deserved it (9504)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37504) - you deserved it (5611)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37736) - you deserved it (7608)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39299) - you deserved it (14812)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

#12818513
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10693) - you deserved it (32414)

On 08/30/2010 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Oman (Masqat)

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34242) - you deserved it (22712)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

#12748631
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (5251)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by devigsgirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

#12646207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30060) - you deserved it (2710)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while driving on a totally deserted, long, straight road in the middle of the bush, I sneezed and drove right into a pole on the side of the road. It was the only pole for over 50 km. FML

#11610497
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33951) - you deserved it (6980)

On 07/02/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by Mikimiks93 (woman) - South Africa (Limpopo)

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

#8519094
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5408) - you deserved it (42851)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm - misc - by anna14 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

#8079585
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (5156)

On 02/10/2010 at 2:29am - love - by LoveStruck- - United States

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

#7492476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (33627)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8083) - you deserved it (56898)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML

#2590991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41388) - you deserved it (17799)

On 06/04/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by ether10 (man) - United States (Texas)



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