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Nightstrike07

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Nightstrike07

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  • Number of visits : 826
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Nightstrike07's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to say happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

#13842104
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (5026)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by sad gf -

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

#13836763
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12692) - you deserved it (27542)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

#13836684
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (7382)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:31am - misc - by teach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my science test back. I thought I did a horrible job on it, but only three were circled. I was happy but doubtful that I did so well, so I asked my teacher just to make sure. He said it was faster to circle the correct answers. FML

#13835168
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10746) - you deserved it (25100)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by lovemyteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

#13829290
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29406) - you deserved it (3229)

On 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm - love - by girlwithaprob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

#13822249
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (2561)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by tmac05 - United States (California)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10035) - you deserved it (33032)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44409) - you deserved it (9769)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

#13107358
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (2375)

On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34193) - you deserved it (3208)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML

#13078178
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42287) - you deserved it (5592)

On 09/16/2010 at 8:35pm - intimacy - by Laura - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21716) - you deserved it (17875)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

#13048948
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (7380)

On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)



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