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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10462) - you deserved it (672)
On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16536) - you deserved it (1034)
On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16502) - you deserved it (6800)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)
Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7091) - you deserved it (624)
On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7872) - you deserved it (1763)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17479) - you deserved it (5430)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6135) - you deserved it (18761)
On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26207) - you deserved it (1798)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (2261)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32237) - you deserved it (6423)
On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16635) - you deserved it (1613)
On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48978) - you deserved it (2425)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:26am - love - by AlwaysGottaFML - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33827) - you deserved it (2331)
On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33895) - you deserved it (2536)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23132) - you deserved it (14876) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
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