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Offline (the 09/25/2015 at 4:20am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 March 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 283
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Nicole_Villatoro : LA baby 🌴🌴

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Nicole_Villatoro's favorite FMLs

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26592) - you deserved it (5675)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML


I agree, your life sucks (55597) - you deserved it (9421)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46218) - you deserved it (29475)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50053) - you deserved it (7119)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22598) - you deserved it (58507)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45681) - you deserved it (6474)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44534) - you deserved it (19014)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43785) - you deserved it (28055) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (39407) - you deserved it (22292)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML


I agree, your life sucks (43219) - you deserved it (15711)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32431) - you deserved it (7471)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

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